Sunday, April 12, 2009

Never a dull moment - Let's pee on a stick!

Life brings with it many unexpected surprises.. and we almost had one.

Let me explain. Steve and I had decided that we will not be having any kids. Not an easy decision, we both love kids and would of been proud to be called Mom and Dad.. but the bigger responsibility to having children is looking at your situation honestly and making a choice that is best for the child to be and not your yearnings to be a parent.. strangely enough the most parent like decision Steve and I have ever made is probably not to have kids. Therefore we took the proper action and Steve ended up spending a weekend with a bag of frozen peas on his crotch!

But that’s not the story that is to be told here.

Life has been pretty stressful and hectic with the recover from the house fire and the insurance company dragging it’s feet on paying us the money we had all ready doled out.. plus all the other ups and downs that life brings.. so I hadn’t really noticed that my “monthly friend” was no where to be seen..

(insert Hollywood type screaming here)

I hummed and haaed.. Thank goodness Steve and I have faith and felt pretty confident that if a baby was on the way it was a pretty special gift.. but still.

This was not the plan.

So what to do. My life has held many an adventure. I have managed to do so many things that so many have not. But never in all of my days have a needed to take a pregnancy test.

(insert more Hollywood screaming here)

I reached out to a few girlfriends .. after the initial “now wouldn't that be funny” I got lots of support.. and marched myself to the local Safeway pharmacy to purchase a test. Wanna feel like EVERYONE is watching you? Besides buying condoms or Preparation H this has to be up there.. I was just waiting for the “in-store” announcement..

“Welcome Safeway shoppers - today a fun surprise in the pharmacy! Please stop by to see local radio announcer Susan Knight purchasing a pregnancy test. If you hurry you can watch the blood drain from her face and sweat form on her brow. Thank you for shopping Safeway.”

Thanks to Tanya, a lovely pharmacist who moved quick as she watched me stumble around that section of the aisle, I purchased the test. There was a brief chuckle as she also had not that long ago filled Steve’s prescription for Tylenol 3’s after his snip.

So during this whole ordeal I had been trying to reach my sister in London Ontario, she has 3 kids, a good sense of “ha” and sound advice and I figured would be the go to gal... but no luck so Melissa stepped up to the plate. Did I mention girlfriends rock in a way your best fella just sometime can’t.

So she talked me home..

Meanwhile. I gotta go.. I mean I REALLY have to go.. I had a pee pee dance going that would make Nikko proud. So I storm in the house getting the DL from Melissa who has also had 3 kids and is a wonderful source of support, advice and seems to be holding in any laughter pretty well.. So I get the skinny.. no I don’t need to wait till tomorrow morning, just pee on the stick for at least 5 seconds. GOTCHA. Seems pretty straight forward.

And I am about to burst.

So I hang up the phone, rip open the package, glance at the instructions in case I missed something important.. sit and ... awwwwwww relief...

Yikes.. stick.. must make sure . Ok.. peeing on stick..





The Stick Turned PINK. not pale pink.. not slightly pink. But HOT fuchsia PINK. the kind of pink that screams..





.... and sanity returns.

Turns out those people have a sense a humor that create these nifty little tests. Seriously of all colours to have a pregnancy test turn.. PINK?!? BRIGHT PINK?!?!

That just seems mean.

It turns out, after closer inspection of the instructions, you need to check for a + sign in another section of the stick.

We seem to be in the clear... but still no little “friend” we shall see what colours any future sticks might turn!


Bri Cook said...

A pregnancy test that tells you what the sex of your baby will be would be BRILLIANT. That's a stressful situation you were in, but the way you wrote it was so funny to read, LOL, nice job. Well, your M.I.A. "friend" could be many things but you're probably right about it being stress. Go to the doc to ease your mind :-) And thanks for not calling it "Aunt Flow".

CB said...

FYI - Dad reads this!

Meredith said...

Cathy would have LOVED it if you truly were pregnant. The same way she would love me to be as well.

Oh well Cath - too bad for you!